FOX Presents: The GOP Follies

This Thursday evening (August 6th), the Fox Entertainment Group will premiere the first installment of what they fully expect will be a blockbuster series. Sneak previews and advance reviews have already won the show automatic renewal through November, 2016. In fact, Fox is hoping this series will become an international sensation, influencing millions for years to come. It may well achieve this goal. However, although Fox intended to produce a drama of biblical proportions—a serious study of the human condition—advance word has suggested it succeeds admirably as farce, tinged with an undercurrent of spine-tingling fear.
Headlining the cast for this series will be “The Donald”, a Kenyan-born caricature of a successful businessman. The pompous nature of this character is a tribute to the screenwriter’s imagination. His allegedly “storied” business career proves to be a fascinating mixture of successes and bankruptcies (picture Bozo the Clown on a bungee ride).
“The Donald” quickly reveals many quirks: he’s petrified of, and disgusted by, women who breast feed (believing instead that women ought to be paraded in antiquated beauty pageants). He’s vaccine-phonic, a climate change denier, and apparently has a serious issue with war heroes; particularly those who fought in the Vietnam War (no, “The Donald” never served).
Joining “The Donald” in this cast is a ventriloquist’s dummy (named “Walker”) who, while initially humorous, quickly runs out of steam. The interesting twist here is that there are two ventriloquists manipulating “Walker”; they are cryptically referred to as brothers, and they somehow cast a dark shadow over the proceedings. Your first impression is that “Walker” may be a humorous simpleton; we see him spouting silly rhetoric about teachers, labor unions, and education. Unfortunately, that’s the extent of his act, and he repeats it incessantly. Quite sad, actually.
“Bush” appears to be the patriarch of the cast (interestingly, there is no matriarch, nor is there any female presence at all in this opening installment). “Bush” seems to represent the very notion of entitlement that he professes to abhor. We begin to wonder about his family life. Does “Bush” have siblings? Are they successful? Is “Bush” over-compensating? Yet, in spite of his obvious flaws, “Bush” emerges as a somewhat well-intentioned goofball of a character; sympathetic where others are not.
In direct contrast to “Bush”, there’s a blowhard Texan named “Cruz”. You know from the moment you lay eyes on him that this guy can’t be trusted. He’s written as a villain, and takes to the role like a pig in mud. You get the feeling “Cruz” would be willing to shut/bring down our own government in order to further his own ambitions—and to hell with the country’s safety!
Next in line comes “The Huckster”. A bass player, a preacher, and oh yes, the former governor of Arkansas. “The Huckster” has been treading the boards for years, hoping to make an impact but seemingly content to sell books when the latter is not feasible (i.e.most of the time). “The Huckster” caught the preaching bug when he worked for a televangelist, though to his credit he served “in person” (as pastor in Pine Bluff and Texarkana for a dozen years). An ardent opponent of evolution, gun control, and gay marriage, “The Huckster” is prone to making outrageous statements that have no basis in reality. Don’t let the folksy charm fool you, “The Huckster” can sling mud with the best/rest of them while invoking the name of God to justify his actions.
These, then, are the primary characters in the new drama. There are lesser supporting characters: “El Rubio”. Dr. Ben, Rand “I-want-to-be-Ron” Paul, Bobby Jindal (usually referred to as “Bobby Who?”) and the delicate, sweet flower from New Jersey, Chris Christie. There also appear to be a myriad of bit players, but their names escape me.
The series has its moments of comedy, but falls flat in short order. The one dramatic moment for this viewer occurs when the realization sets in that these individuals are running for President of the United States. It’s a deeply disturbing and truly scary thought.
For those of you who might be intending to watch, don’t. For our friends and allies around the world, our humble apologies. Avert your eyes, cover your ears, and may we never need to speak of this again.

Time for Chris Christie to Shut Up & Listen

Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey, the soon-to-be keynote speaker at the Republican convention in Tampa, recently made one of his typically insensitive and downright absurd statements; this time referring to Rep. Carolyn McCarthy and a handful of others who have been brave enough to propose that online sales of ammunition be curtailed following the revelation that the Aurora Colorado gunman had purchased 6000 bullets on the internet for use in his Batman movie premiere massacre. Specifically, Rep. McCarthy’s bill would ban online and mail-order sales of ammunition by mandating that buyers present photo identification. The bill would also require ammunition dealers to alert appropriate authorities when someone purchases more than 1000 rounds.


Governor Christie apparently felt this was not “the appropriate time to be grandstanding about gun laws”. Ironically, this master of pomp has no similar thoughts regarding a fundraising letter mailed out by the NRA just three days after the shooting!

Governor Christie seems oblivious to the fact that he’s making reference to a woman whose husband Dennis was killed, and whose son Kevin was critically injured some twenty years ago when a man opened fire and randomly took 6 lives and wounded 19 others on a Long Island Railroad commuter train. Rep. McCarthy is all too familiar with gun violence.

In light of the Colorado tragedy, and the equally tragic shootings at the Sikh temple outside Milwaukee on August 5th, perhaps it’s time to re-visit Rep. McCarthy’s proposals. Contrary to Governor Christie’s twisted perception, this appears to be the ideal time. In fact, it’s long overdue. The waiting period for a new and sober discussion about gun control, and the NRA’s undue influence and outrageous ownership of the majority of our political representatives has expired.

I admit that Rep. McCarthy is one of my heroes. I admire her consistent and reasonable stance on gun control issues, and her proposals certainly don’t present a threat to anyone’s legitimate second amendment rights—contrary to the NRA’s carefully calculated hysterical “they’re coming for your guns” message.

Following the 1997 Empire State Building shooting, she introduced legislation to ban the sale of guns to tourists visiting the U.S. Also in 1997, Rep. McCarthy opposed a Treasury bill provision that would have allowed importation of weapons that were banned for sale in the U.S. Following the Columbine High School massacre, she proposed legislation that would make it more difficult for young adults to purchase guns, and would regulate gun shows. Once the Federal Weapons Assault Ban expired in 2004, Rep. McCarthy introduced the Assault Weapons Ban and Law Enforcement Act of 2007 that would ban 65 models of firearms, specifically any semiautomatic rifle, shotgun or handgun that was “originally designed for military or law enforcement use, or a firearm based on the design of such a firearm, that is not particularly suitable for sporting purposes, as determined by the Attorney General”. When it was revealed that the 2007 Virginia Tech murderer had been able to legally purchase a weapon despite documented mental health issues (a fact that slipped through the cracks due to inconsistent sharing of records between federal and state authorities), she introduced HR 2640, the NICS Improvement Amendments Act of 2007, to remedy the situation.

Rep. McCarthy’s proposals have been consistently thoughtful and constitutionally non-intrusive. It’s simply time for demagogues like Chris Christie to shut up and listen.